The Diary StakeOut
by VintageAllycat
Summary: What exactly happens when you try to steal the girl you likes diary, but get crossed by a homicidal blonde and a new lock-down system on the way? Absolute freakin' confusion. Random humour oneshot. Troyella x


**Title**: The Diary Stake-Out  
**Author**: Aly  
**Rating/Genre**: PG/Romance/Comedy  
**Fandom/Pairing**: High School Musical/Troyella – Other Friendship stuff.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own this or any of the characters. All I own is the storyline.  
**Author's Note**: Hey, chickadees… So, hey, another oneshot. I decided to go with a comedy, showing a sense of humour nobody thought I had ;P  
Longest one yet. Chapter or oneshot. Lots of effort.  
But shit title. :P  
Review?

The bell rang and the gang stumbled out of their last period of the day, English.  
"God! Did you see how many times Darbus picked on me?" Ryan mumbled, with his sparkly hat popping out of the crowd. The rest of the group shrugged. Chad, Troy and Gabriella rolled their eyes. "I blame God," he put his head in his hands.

"You blame God for everything."

"Yeah, when he deserves to be blamed."

"I swear there's like a rule: you can't blame God."

Ryan scoffed. "Says who?"

Chad looked up at the sky, "God," he said sarcastically.

It was Ryan's turn to roll his eyes. "Anyway, do you want to come over later? I got a new pet." He said proudly.

"Oh really? What is it?" Chad said genuinely interested.

"A duck."

"Christ…!" Chad said, even more surprised now. "What's it called?"

"Ducky. He's very well behaved."

"Hmm… creative."

"I hate that stupid duck..." Sharpay murmured to herself. He had left a little present on her favourite bed the previous morning, and it had taken the maid hours to get the stain out. _Of course I wasn't personally removing the stain..._ she thought, _but that's besides the point. _She then proceeded called out across the hallway. "Hey! Gabriella! Are you still coming around my house tonight? I can show you my new lock-down system!"

"Yeah! You can count on it! I just need to get my stuff from my house first." Gabriella called back. The hallways of East High bustled busily past.

"What do you even take over to her house? Knowing you, you'd pack your entire collection of trigonometry books, or whatever, and lecture her on the anatomy or something," Troy grinned and Gabriella rolled her eyes but smiled,_ this boy was so clueless._

"For your information, the only thing I can never leave my house without is my diary," she smiled, and she dumped her school bag onto his shoulder.

"Shit! This bag weighs a ton! What do you even have in here?" he thought curiously, rubbing his shoulder and peeking inside her petite bag. There were a few books including 'To Kill a Mockingbird,' and her silver ACER laptop, embedded with pretty stickers on the top. Gabriella quickly grabbed her bag back, and started to dial her locker combination.

Troy leant against the locker next to hers and asked, "So… that diary of yours? I bet it'll have some embarrassing stuff in there… maybe even something about your passionate love interest in me..."

She shook her head, "Maybe. But there's not a chance in the world you'll be able to get your hands on my stuff."

He inwardly blushed at the thought of her writing something interesting about him, and an idea popped into his head, but he covered it over as smirked slowly, "You sure 'bout that?"

She scoffed; she would love to wipe the cute smirk off his face.

--

"And that's why I need to get into Sharpay's house and get her diary," Troy let out a deep breath. He had finished lecturing Chad about the importance of reading Gabriella Montez's diary.

"Let me get this straight. You want to break into the Ice Bitc-Queen's house, and steal Gabriella's diary, because you think it might have something about you in there, and you're in love with her and want to know?" Troy vigorously nodded his head. "And why should I help you?"

"Because, my entire happiness rests on Gabriella, and if I'm not happy, I don't play basketball well, and then we won't win the championships again. And well, you're all about winning the championships. Back-to-back. Whatever. So technically, it'll all be your fault if we lose, because my head isn't 'in the game.'"  
It was hopeless and sad, but he had to try.

Chad thought for a moment. "Sold."

"You're going to help me?" Troy said in disbelief. Usually Chad wouldn't have the balls to risk the wrath of the Ice Princess.

"Of course!" Chad smiled. "As a matter of fact, I have this friend who even lives in the same house where her diary will _definitely _be." He slapped Ryan's back, who turned around and saw the two eager boys faces, staring at him in pure delight at having an inside man.

"No, no, no, no, no. I am not getting mixed up again in one of your diabolical schemes. Especially ones that involve my homicidal sister. No, no and no."

--

"Jazz-squares to B-baller, are you located in place?" Ryan whispered into the walkie-talkie. "Gabriella is in the bathroom. I repeat she is in the bathroom."

"Affirmative. I am inside Homicidal-Blonde's room," Troy whispered. He was feeling uncomfortable. Everything was so… _pink_.

Chad grabbed the walkie-talkie. "Great. It should be really easy. You can sneak out the back, and we'll delay Sharpay and Gabriella as late as we can."

Ryan snatched it off Chad. "And remember, you're doing this because Gabriella may have written some lovey-dovey stuff about you in there, and you want to know! Over and out."

They two boys ran over to the bathroom where Gabriella was currently humming 'Breaking Free' to herself.

"I feel really guilty about this, but this is for the good of you and Troy. Remember that Gabs," Chad whispered and quickly locked to door.

The handle rattled. "What? Sharpay! The door's- Sharpay! SHARPAY!" The panicked filled voice of Gabriella came barely made it through the thick walls.

The boys looked at each other guiltily before they rushed down the stairs, and found Sharpay, with her faux fur shrug and oversized sunglasses.

"Come on out boys. Gabriella will be down soon," she called.

"H-hey, Sharpay. Umm… where are you going?" Ryan asked. He was curious to know when she'd be back, so they'd have enough time to sneak Troy back out after he had found Gabriella's diary.

"Out for a mani-pedi. I won't be back for at least an hour. Maurice gives the most relaxing facials too…" She smiled dreamily up and then turned back to lock the door. "You can never be too careful about locking doors."

"Yeah, sure," Chad commented.

"Besides," Sharpay shrugged nonchantly and flicked a piece of her platinum blonde hair over her bare shoulder. "It's not like anyone can get in or out of my bedroom."

"What? Why can't anyone?" Ryan and Chad were truly confused. Troy was still stuck upstairs.

"Duh. I used the new anti-breakage system Mum bought us," Sharpay started buffing her pink-manicure nails. At Ryan and Chad's shocked expression she sighed. "Honestly. You are so clueless." She fished a small remote that resembled the iPhone out of her bag and waved it in their faces. "Look. It locks all the windows and doors in my room. That way no one can come in…"

"Or come out," Ryan finished.

Chad and Ryan stared at each other in pure horror.

"Shit."

--

Troy had always wanted to be a secret agent. He always used to love watching old James Bond movies, and always dreamed of saying "Bolton. Troy Bolton," in the most amazingly cool way, and then killing whoever the hell was there. He always use to have little daydreams about rolling along the floor, and shooting people dead, and all the amazing stunts they used to do. He used to love picking out the scariest place you could ever be put, and finding his way out, it was always his specialty. He loved solving the way out from the scariest places.

But there was no place scarier than this. This was hell.

All the pink covered the ceilings and floors, sparkly clothes were strewn across the floor, make up adorned the dressing tables, and the room was absolutely massive.

Where to begin?

--

Once Troy had ransacked the four gigantic closets, he was beginning to give up. Where could Gabriella's diary be? Then his eyes lit up in wonder. Gabriella said she took her diary everywhere with her. And what did she never leave the house without?

_Her laptop._

It made total sense. He was a complete idiot for not thinking of it first. It had been staring him in the face the _whole time_. Gabriella was the type of girl who would type into a diary instead of write. The thought had never occurred to him before. Troy sprinted out of the closet and found a neat, un-scratched, silver laptop, covered in stickers, sitting neatly on the spare bed.

--

"N-no, Sharpay, I need that remote!" Ryan shouted and Chad encouraged.  
Sharpay held the remote further away from them, "Why?" She asked suspiciously.

"Because… Ryan needs to borrow a… a... dress!"

"WHAT? I don't-" Ryan started. Chad quickly clamped her hand down onto Ryan's surprised mouth as Sharpay glared at them in confusion. "Ryan is… practising for the Spring Musical! You know," Chad lowered his voice to a slight whisper, "I hear it's going to be Hairspray."

"Thfad!" Ryan tried to vigorously shake his head, but Chad's hand covered his entire mouth.

"And our dear friend Ryan here has decided to take the part of Edna Turnblad, interesting role, if you ask me!"

"THFAD!"

"Oh really?" Sharpay asked, interested suddenly, and put her flawless manicure to her glossed lips. "You know, I've _always_ wanted to play the part of Amber!"

"TH-FA-AD!" As Chad finally released Ryan, he burst out. "NO! No! There is _no_ Hairspray musical! I do _not_ want to play Edna. And for the love of _God_, I do _NOT_ need a dress!"

Sharpay shot the two boys an annoyed, yet quizzical look. "Then, what _do_ you need in my room?"

And that was when it came out of his mouth.

Troy blamed Ryan's mouth.

Chad blamed Ryan's brain.

But Ryan Evans, he blamed it on God.

"Ducky's in your room."

"WHAT?" Sharpay screeched. And dramatically gasped for air.

Chad looked over at his companion. _I can't believe I'm doing this,_ were his final thoughts before he carried on.

"It's on fire…"

"Like a duck-on-fire!"

"But alive."

"And flying around…"

"On fire…"

"And wearing one of your Louboutins..."

"On fire…"

"Yeah, we get it, its on fire."

Sharpay shot the cowering guys her best are-you-serious-and-if-you're-not-I-will-cut-you-up-and-feed-you-my-chihuahua look. No kidding. "So, let me get this straight. I'm supposed to believe that there's a duck, on fire, wearing my Louboutins, and flying around my bedroom."

Chad and Ryan held onto each other. "Where do you think that phrase flamin'-duck came from?"

Sharpay's lips trembled. "GET OFF MY LOUBOUTIN YOU FREAKIN' DUCK!" Before she grabbed her keys out of her City Balenciaga Bag and rushed to the freshly painted red door of her mansion. Ryan and Chad stared at one another in horror as Sharpay burst through the door and kicked off her high heels, storming up the spiralling staircase, clutching a butcher knife from her purse in a murderous rage.

Ryan's eyes lit up in realization. "Dude, if we let Sharpay get up there and find Troy with Gabriella's diary, god knows what she'll do to him with butcher's knife."

All it took was a single glance before the boy's followed, screaming into the walkie-talkie in panic.

--

He grabbed the laptop and tried to push the balcony door open. To his immediate surprise, they were jammed shut. He tried to push them again, but it didn't work.

He then got a screaming message on his walkie-talkie to "get the shit out the fucking room!"

A few moments later, he gave up and decided to risk it and just go out through her bedroom door, and try to avoid Sharpay if she was there.

He tried to turn the handle, but that wouldn't work.

His eyes widened in horror.

This time, unlike the James Bond fantasies, he wasn't getting out of hell.

Suddenly, a shrieking pink figure burst into the room through the door, and launched itself at him with a butcher's knife. All her felt was pure pain as it attacked him, pulling his hair and his face, screaming, "My Louboutins! My Louboutins! Stupid duck…"

Briefly, he saw Ryan and Chad burst into the room, before something clawed him in the eye.

"_Ryan…" _Troy moaned.

That 'Ryan' meant a lot of things. It meant: "Hey, Ryan, I didn't expect to see you here so soon!" It meant: "Ryan, you're looking awfully shocked! It could be due to the very painful scene you're witnessing right now." But most of all, it meant: "Ryan, something is on top of me trying to kill me, and I would be ever so thankful if you removed it."

Then he saw his two best friends try to drag the pink thing off. He finally saw through hazy eyes, that the pink thing was indeed a very ruffled, scruffy Sharpay. She looked confused. "You're not a duck…" She glared over at Chad and Ryan. "YOU…!" Then she looked back at Troy who was still clutching Gabriella's diary. "Y-OO-UU!..."

The three boys looked at each other one thought propelled through their brains.

_Run._

_--_

The ambulance zoomed past. "What's your name kiddo?" A paramedic asked as he applied pressure to the bruises.  
_My dreams coming true_, Troy thought ironically.

"Troy," he groaned. "Troy, Bolton."

--

Sharpay and Gabriella entered the recovery room as St. Sophia's Hospital. The walls were all a sickly white, and three boys were lying in bad, bandages wrapped around their heads. Sharpay was carrying Ducky.

Troy groaned in memory of the pain the blonde had inflicted on them. "I'm not even the _size _of any average-sized duck! How could you possibly think I was a _duck?!"_

Sharpay smirked. "Never lie to a girl about ruined shoes."

Chad was seething. "You're lucky we didn't tell the police you mutilated us with your butcher's knife."

"You're lucky I didn't tell them about you breaking into my room," Sharpay retorted.

Ryan gasped. "It's my own house!"

"Whatever."

Ducky quacked and ran over to an overjoyed Ryan. "Reunited… ahh!"

"Hey, Troy…" Gabriella said awkwardly. Troy almost died of embarrassment. Sharpay had probably told her everything about the diary.

"Umm… Sharpay and Chad told me what happened with the diary." Of course. "Some things about what you may or may not have said. And… I totally get it if you didn't say those things… but you know, if you did… then- I mean…"

Troy took a deep breath. This was it. "Gabriella, do you wanna go out sometime?"

"What?" Gabriella was shocked. That was more straightforward than anything she had tried to say. She must have sounded like a blubbering idiot.

"I..." he inwardly blushed. "I think you're really amazing, and smart, amazingly smart, and we'd really work well together. There's some sort of connection that I'd really like to go on with. And you're really beautiful."

"T-to go ou-out?" She stuttered. "Me... _b-beautiful_?" She couldn't _believe_ this was happening. Finally!

"Well, at least when I get out of my wheelchair." He shot a glare at a smirking Sharpay.

"I would love to," Gabriella smiled and she shyly kissed him on the cheek. It was only a peck, but Troy still got a massive rush from it. "I've got to go now, but… I'll see you tomorrow, OK?"

"Bye!" The three boys chorused.

As she left, Sharpay stared at all three of the injured boys. "There wasn't even a phrase called 'flamin' duck' was there?" She seethed.

Again, they all looked at each other, with their neck braces.

"There goes our two hours in recovery..." groaned Ryan as he braced himself.

And this time, they couldn't even run.

**What did you think? I worked uber-hard on this. I've been having loads of friendship issues and arguements right now, so reviews would really be appreciated and cheer me up :D I'll even reply to ALL your reviews XD  
Love you all,****  
****Aly x**


End file.
